Life and Death? Or Love and Hate?
by aZn-chErrybLossoM1
Summary: Pain has been the main thing for Sakura all her life. The only person she had was Tomoyo. But things start changing 5 years later... and it's more painful than ever. What is there for her to do?
1. Divorce

Hello. I have written stories before... but I haven't written for sooooo long. So, please forgive me for any mistakes done in this story ok? And if it sucks... please don't yell at me!! . I haven't done this for like, two years!! And if you're actually reading this, WOW! =) Well.. what this story is about is it's based on my life. To tell you the truth, it isn't all sweet and dandy. It is HORRIBLE! =/ But it changes..  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.  
  
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Life and Death? Or Love and Hate? Chapter One: Divorce By: Lana Nguyen  
  
Sakura just got home from school and already, she heard her parents fighting. She couldn't take it no more. She ran to her room and covered her head under her pillow. Tears coming down her face like a waterfall.  
  
(want to call Tomoyo...)  
  
She reaches for the phone and dials in the numbers.  
  
**brrriinnggg brrriinnnggg*  
  
"Hello?" "Tomoyo??" "Sakura? What's wrong?" "It's my parents... can I meet you at the Park... I can't stay here right now." "Of course! Be there in 10 minutes okay? And Sakura... don't feel bad, it's not your fault." "Hai... Ja" "Ja."  
  
*click*  
  
---------------------------- 10 Minutes Later  
  
Sakura walked to the Park, and it was raining outside. But, she was a strong girl. She always stood her ground, but right now, she just couldn't do that. SeeIt looked like a lot of things were going through her mind. As she approached the Park, there Tomoyo was... wearing a purple raincoat with a black with purple streaks umbrella. Tomoyo was Sakura's bestest friend. They were always there for each other. And, right now, Sakura needed her the most. She ran to Tomoyo, hugging her and crying so hard.  
  
"It's okay Sakura... Don't worry, I'm here for you. ALWAYS." Tomoyo said, frowning and rubbing her dear friend's back.  
  
"*sniff* B-b...But.. how can they do that Tomoyo? Every single day, they fight. What am I supposed to do? It seems as if it IS my fault. I could of prevented it from happening. But I was at school. *sniffs* And I really hate it how people prefer to me as perfect... they just don't know what happens at home. Tomoyo..." Sakura said, with puffy eyes still crying.  
  
Seeing Sakura like this always broke Tomoyo's heart. ( Poor Sakura... I just wished I could help..)  
  
"It was never your fault! You had no idea that this was going to happen between your parents. It probably happened for a reason... but I feel awful for saying that because it's never happened to me... except that my dad passed away..."  
  
"Oh my god! I'm soo sorry Tomoyo. I never even thought about your feelings! I guess nobody is perfect... *sighs* Thanks for being there whenever I needed you Tomoyo. I know we're only 8... but I want you to know that we will be friends FOREVER, okay? Never ever forget that. I feel much better now... let's go  
  
home.."  
  
Tomoyo smiled. They have been friends for all the years they have been living! Ever since Sakura moved in, 8 years ago, things were going so much better. Both of the girls walked towards Sakura's house, but as they approached the house. Everything seemed to be calm, so Sakura insisted that Tomoyo go home and told her that she'd see her tomorrow at school.  
  
"Are you sure Sakura? If you'd like, I'll stay for a little bit." Tomoyo said, still worried.  
  
"I'm sure Tomoyo! Now, go home and I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Love ya!"  
  
Sakura said, getting back to her cheerful self. Although, inside it was hurting deeply.  
  
"Hai... okay. Just be careful alright? If you need me, give me a call." Tomoyo and Sakura hugged. Then, Sakura walked into the house. Tomoyo sighed. (ow could so many bad things happen to Sakura.. She's so fragile. And with that, she walked home.  
  
---------------------------- Inside the House  
  
Sakura walked inside the house, but stopped midway because she saw her parents sitting on the couch looking at her. As if they were expecting her.  
  
"Sakura? Where have you been? You just left without a word." Her mother asked, with worried eyes.  
  
"I was out with Tomoyo." Sakura said, trying to keep the anger in.  
  
"Oh... Well your mother and I need to talk to you Sakura. We've got... something to say..." Her dad said. They didn't look really happy to be putting this on Sakura, but they had no choice. It had to happen. Sakura took a seat, and with an emotionless look, stared at her parents. Expecting the worse.  
  
"Honey, your father and I... well... we've decided to get a divorce..."  
  
Sakura still stared at them, emotionless and asked, "What's a divorce mommy?" [Remember!! She's only 8!]  
  
"Well uh..." Her mother hesitated.  
  
"What your mother means is, daddy and mommy can't live with each other no more and we need to separate for a while to think about things."  
  
Sakura stared still. Holding back the tears that threatened to come out. Anger. Sadness. Her heart was breaking. It was silent for a while and nobody said anything. The parents were nervous. They didn't want to hurt Sakura. She didn't deserve this, but there was nothing else they can do. They hated each other, and it had to happen.  
  
"Sakura? Sweetie? You have to choose... who you'd like to live with. W- ...We will accept anything you choose," Her mother said, sadness in her voice. That phrase was repeating rapidly in Sakura's mind. (hoose?? Choose between them? Oh my god...) Sakura exploded... she ran to her room.  
  
Her parents sat there. They didn't know what to do. They knew that Sakura was hurting from what they, them, the parents were doing. But, if they stayed together any longer... it would hurt her more. It just HAD to be done.  
  
---------------------------- Sakura's Room  
  
A little girl with auburn colored hair and emerald eyes filled with tears laid in bed... trying to drown out every thing that was happening.  
  
(his can't be happening! Why does this have to happen to me??? Out of all  
  
people, I have to be the one to have a..... a broken family.)  
  
----------------------------  
  
So... What did ya think? I know it ain't that great. Eek... I'm sooo sorry if it was boring but I promise that it will get better! Now go review, yeah? =D 


	2. The Movies

Hehe... Here's chapter two! Have fun!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.  
  
------------------------------- Life and Death? Or Love and Hate? Chapter Two: The Movies By: Lana Nguyen  
  
"Aiyahhh!!! I'm late again! EEEEeeeeeeek!" A 13-year-old girl said, jumping out of bed. (Arghhh. stupid alarm clock. They should make the alarm go louder!) Sakura dashed across her room trying to find her school clothes and rushed to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to recognize herself again. A girl, with shoulder-length auburn- colored hair, with bright shining emerald eyes stood before her. (Ah! I look like a mess!) Sakura brushed her hair, brushed her teeth, and so forth. She only had 5 more minutes until school started so she ran down the stairs as fast as she could.  
  
"Mom! I'll see you later! I'm late again!" Sakura yelled, skating out the door as fast as the wind could go. Things haven't changed for her. She's still the same little girl she was years ago. The only thing that really changed, was her father wasn't around anymore. She had chosen her mother to live with. She felt bad, but it felt like the right decision to make. Just thinking about it, depresses Sakura.  
  
Finally, she got to school and it was only 30 seconds before the late bell rang. She ran as fast as she could and to everybody's surprise, she made it on time!  
  
"Matte! Don't count me tardy. *breathing hard*" Sakura said as the bell rang.  
  
"Well, Kinomoto-san, please take your seat." The sensei said looking impatient.  
  
"Hai." Sakura said walking to her desk. It was located right beside Tomoyo's. What a coincidence! [^_^]  
  
"Konnichiwa Sakura! You actually made it in time. Good job girl!" Tomoyo said as Sakura took her seat.  
  
"Thanks Tomoyo!" Sakura said smiling.  
  
Well, school was very boring for Sakura that day. She was the top student in her class and she was not a nerd as most top students would be. Many guys really liked her, and she did go out with some of them, but it ended up in tragedy and so Sakura stopped and lived her single life to the fullest. Many people still prefer to her as perfect but she ignores the comment. It doesn't ever make her day. As she said before, they just don't know what happens at home.  
  
------------------------------------ At the end of the School Day  
  
"Sakura! Don't forget that Chihira [My character!] is having her birthday at the movies later tonight! Don't forget to come over to my house to try on the KAWAII-ist outfit I've made for you okay?!!" Tomoyo said, stars in her eyes as always when she prefers to the word "kawaii".  
  
Sakura sweatdropped. Well. that's Tomoyo for ya!  
  
"Hai. I won't forget Tomoyo! I'll come over later! I've got to get home before my mom bitches at me!" Sakura said skating away.  
  
------------------------------------ Inside the Kinomoto House  
  
"Mom, please don't go to Central today. I've got a birthday party to go to, remember??" Sakura said, doing her homework.  
  
Her mother looked at her surprised and replied, "Of course."  
  
Ever since the divorce, Sakura's mom got more. hooked onto gambling. Her mom would say she's depressed and leave to Central. It got Sakura really sad because she couldn't do anything to make her mom stop. Her mom won't even work! What was she supposed to do? She left it that way. for now.  
  
------------------------------------ 30 Minutes Later  
  
Sakura looked at her watch. (Oh no! It's time. I've got to get to Tomoyo's house! But I'm already 5 minutes late! I can't walk. argh.) Sakura was very excited to go. She wasn't very close to Chihira and she wanted to go to the movies because it was her birthday. But, there was another reason why she wanted to go. In May, she met this guy named Syaoran online and now that it's October, they still haven't met each other. Kind of sad, isn't it? Well, he was known as Sakura's best homeboy. And it turns out that Syaoran knows Chihira too and she invited him to come. So, she couldn't miss this! She had to admit. she did have a little crush on him.  
  
Sakura sat there for a while and finally went to her mom's room, finding her watching some Japanese movies.  
  
"Mom? Are you busy?" Sakura asked, scared that her mom might yell at her.  
  
"What does it look like to you?!" Her mom replied from the bed.  
  
Ever since the divorce, her mother also got more. mean.  
  
"Well.. I.I was just wondering if you could take me to Tomoyo's house. for the movies Mom.." Sakura said, feeling sad.  
  
"Argh! Fine. Get in the car." And Sakura did so.  
  
She waited for a long time. probably and hour and 30 minutes. [It's sad isn't it? I went through this. *sighs*] Finally, her mom came out and drove her to Tomoyo's house. It was complete silence in the car. Sakura and her mom used to be so close to each other.. Why did everything change? Sakura asks herself this all the time.  
  
When they finally got there, Sakura felt really bad for being so late. She called Tomoyo up on her cellphone to let her in the house.  
  
*Brrrrrrrringgggggg brrrrrrrrinnngg*  
  
"Hello?" "Tomoyo! Oh my goodness, I'm here but I'm soo sorry. It was my mom. she.. Argh." "Finally you're here! Come in Sakura, and it's okay. We got to get you dressed and we got to ZOOM to the movies! They're all waiting for us."  
  
The gates opened for her and Sakura ran in. In 5 minutes flat, they were in the car heading for the movies. Tomoyo made Sakura wear these long black pants with a silver and black tube top. Of course, Sakura wanted to cover up so she wore a black leather jacket as well. From her mom making them be so late, Sakura was a little bit pissed. I mean come on; they were supposed to be at the movies at 6! And yet, here they are. just arriving at almost 8!!!  
  
------------------------------------ The movies  
  
As they stepped out of the car, they walked around trying to look for the group. While Sakura, having her mind on something else looked for Syaoran. She already knew what he looked like because he sent a picture of himself to her over the Internet. Finally, she spotted him. He was sitting on the steps surrounded by these other people and he was wearing all white. [Oooh. Sexy!! Lolx] But like Sakura, she was shy. Tomoyo knew about Syaoran too and she knew how nervous Sakura must've been. So, Tomoyo decided to go into a restaurant for a bit so they could get a drink.  
  
A couple minutes later, they walked over to where Syaoran was but they walked around him. Syaoran didn't notice Sakura because he was busy talking to his homies. Of course, he too, has seen a picture of Sakura over the Internet. And as Sakura walked across behind Syaoran, one of her friends she noticed had noticed her! So she walked faster over to where Tomoyo was. And the next thing she hears is, "Hey! Syaoran, there's Sakura!" And "Where? Where?"  
  
As she reached Tomoyo, she turned around and saw Syaoran. (Wow. he's even cuter in person than in pictures!) Syaoran looked at her and was like, "Sakura!" And he gave her a hug.  
  
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WeEeE! Cliffhanger. hahahaha.. Sort of. =/ Hm.. nevermind LOL!! Haha. Well, sorry it wasn't that great. But I hoped you liked it anyways! Please review!!!! =) 


	3. A Night I Can't Forget

Wow! I actually got reviews. ^^ I know that I didn't get as much as many writers would want, but at least I got support! Thank you fallen-angel for your advice. ^_^ I'll try to look on the brighter side from now on, although it's still a bit depressing. =D Well now, why don't you start Chapter 3?  
  
Oh yes, I forgot to add and I'm sorry for anybody who's been confused ever since they started reading this story. Please forgive me!  
  
This represents. blah:  
  
( ) - Inside the minds of the characters.  
  
[ ] - Me blabbering.  
  
* * - Actions of the characters or me  
  
- Something important.  
  
I am terribly sorry I couldn't have made it any easier for you guys to read! For example, making it italic or bold and such. I just don't know how to do it! ^^;; Baka me. -_-; If anybody does know how to do it, will u please notify me? Thank you so much!  
  
Disclaimer: Said it before, so I am not saying it again. ^^;;  
  
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Life and Death? Or Love and Hate? Chapter 3: A Night I Can't Forget By: Lana Nguyen  
  
Previous Chapter-  
  
As she reached Tomoyo, she turned around and saw Syaoran. (Wow. he's even cuter in person than in pictures!) Syaoran looked at her and was like, "Sakura!" And he gave her a hug.  
  
This chapter-  
  
(It feels good to be in his arms. ^_^. I don't think I can ever tell him how much I love him. I still remember the first time I met him. *sighs*)  
  
[That was Sakura if you didn't catch on. ^^.]  
  
///\\\Flashback///\\\  
  
This is in Sakura's POV  
  
I was sitting there, at my computer on some day in May, at around 2 o' clock at night. I wasn't scared of getting caught being online this late at night because Mom was at Central again. The screen.  
  
Instant Message: xOCuDDlEmEeOxWill you accept a message from AzNwoLfBoY?Instant Message: AzNwoLfBoYInstant Message: AzNwoLfBoY Normal POV  
  
(Wow. memories.)  
  
Sakura and Syaoran finally let go of each other and Syaoran winked at her. Sakura blushed. (Aiyahhh!! I forgot! The proving! .Sakura's POV  
  
*Brrrrrringggggg brrrrrrinnnnggg* "Hello?" "Sakura?" "Yeah, it's me, Syaoran. What's wrong?" "Hai. Valerie chose another guy over me. =/"  
  
Stupid girl. she's missing out on how sweet Syaoran is.  
  
"Awww. Syaoran. It's okay. maybe she's not the right girl for you. she probably doesn't deserve you anyways. You'll find your dream girl one day Syaoran! Don't worry!" ". Thanks so much Sakura. I don't know where I'd be without you. you've always been there for me. Helping me bring all of the pieces of my heart together when the problem with MeiMei came." "You go through so much. of course I'm here for you!" "Thanks for being the bestest friend anyone could ever have."  
  
He sounds so serious about that. wow, he must mean it.  
  
"Your welcome! I'm always here for ya! Hehe." "Geez, you make me just want to kiss you Sakura!" "Hahaha! You're funny Syaoran. Nobody would want to kiss me anyways." "Oh, I'm not lying Sakura! Hahaha. and it's not you that nobody would kiss, it's meee!"  
  
Syaoran is so kawaii when he's happy. ^_^  
  
"Oh?? Well, what would you say if I said I'd kiss you? Hmm..?" "Surrrrreeeeeeeeeeee Sakura." "You don't believe me, Syaoran???" "Hm.. Nope." "*gasps*! I feel shocked! How about when we actually do meet in person, I'll prove it to you."  
  
EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeek. what am I saying???  
  
"Hm.. All right then Sakura, you're on!" "You dork. ^^ Well, my Mom wants me off the phone.. eckk.. so I'll talk to you later okay? "Kay. Ja ne!" "Ja!"  
  
*click*  
  
///\\\End of Flashback///\\\  
  
Normal POV  
  
"All right then Sakura, you're in for it!" Syaoran said lowering his head down to her face. Sakura stiffened. She had never kissed any guy before because she never knew how! And now here, Syaoran was, giving her her first kiss.  
  
He got closer.  
  
And closer.  
  
Sooooo close.  
  
And their lips touched. It was a great night for Sakura. Of course they did it out of friendship, why else would they do it? Sakura of course wondered why he kissed her so many times. When the two were done, they walked back to where they previously were, and there Tomoyo was, waiting.  
  
"Oh, hey guys! Sakura!! We were late for the movie!! And Chihira and the girls are already in watching. hmph," Tomoyo said with a baby face on. Sakura looked disappointed as well, but she was not going to let this ruin her night.  
  
"Hai. we'll hang out here Tomoyo! It's still fun, isn't it?" Sakura said, hoping that it would cheer Tomoyo up a bit. Tomoyo's face enlightened.  
  
"Of course Sakura."  
  
As the three people went over to the group of Syaoran's friends, they found a bench to sit at and everybody gathered around it. Tomoyo of course, had her camera with her and would not miss a detail of what was happening. Sakura sat down on the bench and Syaoran sat next to her. The next thing she that was happening was she was being picked up. And by who? Syaoran.  
  
"Hoeee. what are you doing Syaoran?" Sakura said, confused. Syaoran grinned. He put her on his lap.  
  
"Oh my goodness -_-; You're a dork Syaoran," Sakura said, feeling a bit uncomfortable because she's never sat on a guy's lap before. Tomoyo was standing up and she saw this moment happening. The next thing you know, she whipped out her camera and took a shot of Syaoran and Sakura. [I actually do have a picture ^_^ Of course it's of me and my lover! Hehe.]  
  
"Kawaii!!!" Tomoyo whispered.  
  
"What did you say Tomoyo?" Syaoran and Sakura both said at the same time. They then blushed.  
  
"Uh. nothing! Nothing at all." Tomoyo said skipping away. Syaoran and Sakura sweatdropped. Oh yeah. this was a night they can't forget.  
  
(I wish this would never end..)  
  
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Sorry if Sakura is a bit OOC.and sorry if this chapter was short!!! . Well I hope you liked it. how about a review?? Hehe. please leave your email address in the review if you'd like to know when the next chapter is out okay?? THANK YOU! 


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